03.20.10
Job Interview: Speculative Fiction
“Yeah,” Ronnie Smith says. “I’m an American. What of it!”
There’s a short wait for the interviewer’s translation machine to read it back in Chinese. Then the retort.
Ronnie’s machine reads it back, with proper inflection. “You have much pride for one from such a backward culture. Wake up, Yankee, it’s 2110! Chinese has been the language of business now for at least 50 years, and you haven’t bothered to learn it. Why should I hire you even to do my laundry?”
“Because, Cheng Tao,” Ronnie responds, “I’m very good at what I do. I have invented a device that turns waste deuterium oxide back into water and weighs half as much as current nuclear de-conversion systems. As a result, your fuel cell/nuclear mag-lev trains will comply with environmental standards with great improvements in hydrogen fuel efficiency, and cut travel time between Beijing and Shanghai by 5 percent. And how does speaking a language as ridiculously complex as Chinese leave any room in your brain for engineering?”
There is a wait, then another response comes through Ronnie’s machine. “ Your arrogance, Yankee, astounds me. You hold to your discredited democracy while it keeps your nation stagnant and wallowing in mediocrity. The world allows your culture to survive as a museum piece—a crumbling model of ineffective governance. And yet, Ronnie Smith, you interest me due to your apparent ability to rise above highly primitive surroundings. Your resume seems to show that you have mastered modularity. Chinese should be easy for you to learn. Why haven’t you bothered?”
Ronnie laughs sardonically. No need to translate that. “I haven’t learned Chinese because I have been able to choose not to. Call it an act of defiance, which may be a foreign concept to you, my conformist friend, but we primitive Americans take enormous pride and place enormous value on our right to be defiant. That, by the way, is why I have been able to develop breakthrough technologies. The magic for me is telling me it can’t be done. I will then find a way to do it.”
After the translation wait, there is a long pause as Cheng stares. Finally, a response. Ronnie’s machine then reads back the translation. “Yes, I remember reading about the myth of the Yankee ‘can-do’ spirit. For many years, it allowed you to believe your democracy was the best way, and during those years, perhaps it was. Democracy made you fat and the fat caused complacency, which is now completely unjustified. I must admit it is refreshing to see that the defiance that makes your democracy inefficient and ineffective has produced a useful anachronism, such as yourself.”
Cheng’s gaze attempts to pierce Ronnie’s rocky stare. Ronnie doesn’t blink. “Anachonism,” he parries, “or a future you refuse to face? How long do you think Singaporeanism will continue to offer the illusion of universal happiness? Because of our continued freedom of expression, we can read about Singaporeanism evolving into old-fashioned despotism. We already see that happening. Each day you find more of your pretense of personal freedom eroding. Your endless polling indicates more and more people want fewer other people to enjoy the rights they enjoy, because their interests compete. Day-to-day opinions change like the wind. And thank you for your backhanded compliment. I like to think I am useful. I would like you to think the same of me.”
Ronnie sees Cheng smile as the translation machine reads back Ronnie’s statement. The interviewer speaks and the machine translates: “ Our governing system is the envy of the world. Our ability to solicit majority opinions at a moment’s notice and apply responsive policy, as you know, makes your rusty system of periodic elections and changing regimes appear as a defective chain of disparate tyrannies. We have achieved true rule by the people. What has made you seek employment with enlightened people, rather than with the relics you seem to cherish?”
Ronnie responds: “Singaporeanism began as the world’s only truly benevolent despotism, as you know. In a century, it has evolved not into democracy, but into a lampoon of it. Real rule by the people recognizes individuality, another concept that is foreign to conformists, such as you.
“Sometimes you have to let the bad-guy minorities win. We’re the only country in the world that allows Islam, as you know, even after the wars. Most of us don’t like it, but we tolerate it, and I think we’re better for that.
“I do not seek the company of conformists as much as I want the opportunity to work with large-scale fuel cell de-conversion systems. An unfortunate result of our focus on individuality is that in all this time, we have not developed workable land-based long-distance mass transit systems. I must grudgingly admit that your country is to be commended for your land transit network. Most Americans don’t travel more than 100 miles from home, because they will not give up personal transportation, even at prohibitive cost. They settle for holographic visits. And, Americans are superstitious about nuclear anything. Like you, if our majority insists on being foolish, we have to let them stay that way.”
Sooner than Ronnie expects it, his translator is sounding: “I once advocated a minority opinion and fought for it at the cost of much damage to myself and my family. My children were sent to correctional camps and my wife shared my five years of ultimate demotion as an accomplice to my mistake.
“I will not be so foolish again, and we live well and enjoy our lives. My children are excelling. It is common among our young to commit similar acts of foolishness, as I understand it is in your country. Your allowing such rebellion to go unpunished, however, is responsible for your current poverty as a nation, as you well know.
“Our company needs your breakthrough discovery to become the standard bearer in our industry. We have a colony of Americans near our headquarters, and you would be allowed to continue your unfathomable lifestyle among them, but I must warn you, our people go there occasionally as one would visit a zoo.”
“There will come a time, and soon,” Ronnie says, “when your people will be envious when leave the zoo. I’d like to be around when that happens, and if I come here, my hobby will be encouraging progress in that direction. That’s my warning.”
“We have a saying here that if it’s easy, it’s probably not worth doing,” Cheng responds through the translator.
“At one time, we did too,” Ronnie responds. “I wish we still did.”
“Working with you will not be easy,” the interviewer says, “but if you come here, it will be worthwhile to all of us. I would welcome the challenge.”
“We both want to win,” Ronnie says, “and in that, we share a drive that goes back to Ramses in ancient Egypt. That will keep us together, even though we will clash on everything else. I think I hear you saying through your persistence that like me, you believe that’s part of the fun. I believe you have enjoyed this interview as much as I have, and I believe I will accept your offer. Hell, I might even learn Chinese.”
“Ronnie Smith, that is good to hear,” Cheng responds through the machine. “My opinion meter is showing that it is becoming less favorable to hire Americans, and I must hurry to get your papers through. Welcome to our company, Ronnie Smith. I look forward to reaping the benefits of our mutual disdain.”
They laugh, shake hands and bow.
